OK, since we decided in seminar that we would do this, I am going to continue this blog for therapy purposes. First of all, some of you have asked about my Mom. She passed away in April 2010. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer in October of 2009. Before that, as far as we knew, she was healthy. She was 56 years old, and very active. She was a social worker, and worked with Child Protective Services for her entire career. She retired from North Carolina, in 2007, and moved to Savannah Ga to be near myself and my husband. She began a business here, teaching parenting skills to people who where in danger of losing custody of their children. She was my best friend,and my rock. We always had a good relationship,and I miss her terribly. We had our problems, but even when we were mad at one another, the love was never a question. She loved me, and my little brother with all she had. It was obvious when she looked at us. Growing up in foster care, herself, and never having been nurtured, or parented herself, she was determined to be a good Mom, and social worker. She succeeded. My 24 yr old baby brother, after she was diagnosed, put his life on hold ( he was accepted to Grad school that was supposed to start in Nov of 2009), and moved in with Mom, and became her full time caregiver. This is amazing to me, considering his age,and lack of experience with this type of thing. He was phenomenal! All of her appointments were in order, her medications were gotten, he cooked, cleaned, drove her all over, and the whole time made sure he kept me informed and in the loop of anything that was going on. I was working full time, and he made sure I was involved. Mom was fiercely independent, and having to depend on us for simple things drove her nuts. She was so tough! She had her stomach surgically removed, along with her spleen, part of the liver and part of the pancreas. She was hospitalized for 28 days following this. Going into surgery, she said to me " OK, lets get this party started." After surgery, within hours of being allowed visitors, she asked us the outcome. We had to tell her that they removed more than they planned ( she went in to remove the stomach), she said, upon hearing what all organs were taken from her " Well, damn, I really needed that spleen" and laughed. I asked her for what and she replied "for whatever the spleen does". She was a happy person, in spite of the many trials and tribulations that she lived through. I am grateful that I had her as long as I did. I miss her so much, but most people do not get a mother like her , ever, I am honored that I had her for 34 years. She was my hero, and my rock. I am also grateful that it did not take cancer for myself 0r my brother to let her know how we felt about her. She knew we adored and respected and loved her, and we knew she loved us. So many times, we take for granted what we have. She taught me not to do that, and we really did have fun! She said to me 3 days before she died, that we had always had a good life, and for me not to forget that when she was gone. She gave me the ability to go on without her, even through the pain. Most of my memories involve laughter, and to me, that is a testament to the woman she was. I met people at her memorial that I never even knew, that told me of the countless things she did to help them over the years. Whether it was a meal, 10 dollars, advice, a place to stay, a ride somewhere, or a shoulder to cry on, she was there to help. The funny thing, is I never knew a lot of the things she did. She used to say that " it is not charity, if you feel you have to get credit for it", and she truly lived that. She did not want recognition, she just did what she knew was right. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be half as amazing as she was.